Saying Goodbye

I'll miss his nicker each time i'd say "Hello Mr. Bass".

 It hurts more than words can capture. Tuesday, January 20th, as I hugged him and scratched his favorite places, I didnt know it would be the last time he'd rub on me. Looking back now, I think he was saying goodbye.

The first time I met him, he captured my horse crazy heart. In the field of his herd mates, he tried to get all my attention. They say a Morgan chooses you, it is definitely true. I knew after that first meeting, that he had to be mine. I was 14 and he was 4.

Fond memories of riding, and shows, and even his bucking episode on the front lawn. At the time I counted how many times, it seemed to go in slow motion, but I stayed on. I tore my shoulder muscle but he never bucked again after that! I would read to him in the barn, do my homework with him.

 My best friend.

 I'm sorry I had to let him go when circumstances were out of my control. I tried to keep track of where he was. I even went to a dressage show he was in. Eventually I didnt see his name in any of the shows. Years apart and never a day went by that I didnt think of him and wonder where he was.

 On a whim I emailed a farm in Connecticut to see if they had heard of him. I thank my stars everyday that a local horse farm took him in 7 years ago. He was once again mine, mine to stay until his last day. These past 7 years went too fast, but I'm glad to have had them. Thrilled to have been able to ride him, still as spunky and full of heart.

He'd prance at the end of the lead, not to misbehave, but just to show off or to say he was feeling good. He taught me patience and strength.

 My best friend, I thought I had more time.
Rest in peace my old friend, WBM's Ambassador 06/09/1985- 01/21/2015

How do I start?

This may get long winded. So bear with me.... When I was 13 we moved to the mountains of Granville. There was (actually still is) a horse farm on the main route called White Birch Morgans. Beautiful, beautiful horses!
Well, one day someone went by on a bike, a few minutes later a dog came running into the yard. He was older and thirsty. So we gave him some water and soon the person on the bike came back. Come to find out that they were from the horse farm. So we said we'd drive the dog back and when we got there I HAD to look at the horses. This one gelding named Ambassador kept coming up to me to see what was going on. My parents had said that I could finally get a horse, and I knew this was the one for me. So for my 14th birthday, WBM's Ambassador was officially mine, with a red ribbon on him and everything. I was soooo excited. He was a handful, but I loved him.
We built our barn, and fenced in parts of our 5 acres for him, while Ambassador was in training with Jerome Parker, (at that time he was associated with Shadowood Morgans) Went to a couple of Morgan shows. Got a 3rd, 4th and an 8th. Driving too. Oh, it was soo much fun. When Bass finally came home to our house it was so nice to see him out my bedroom window. A dream come true!
A few years passed with not much excitement, just everyday stuff.

Well, around the time I turned 18 my parents got divorced. Talk about throwing a peaceful life into disarray. My parents tried to make the transition as easy as possible. But when my "normal" family life passed into the unknown, it brought down the world. (Looking back, I know both of my parents tried to make sure me and my brother didn't blame ourselves) When everything was said and done, (I'm not sure how long the whole process actually took) when we had to move, we had to get rid of our two dogs, Admiral and Indigo, (they were the best dogs ever), my moms three birds, we kept two of the many cats we had. My brothers horse we had to find a new home for, and I was trying my damnest to keep Ambassador. Unfortunately I couldn't afford him on my own and reluctanly sold him. It broke my heart!

There are still days I think back and wonder what my life would've been like if my parents had stayed together. Would I have gone to college and gotten my Equine Sciences degree? Would I be in the same place I am right now? Would I have the three wonderful children? I don't know.

All I do know is what is going on right now.

Well, Lets jump ahead. I have gotten married, have three beautiful children. A good job. It's September 2007 and still something is missing. I have tried finding Ambassador many times with no luck. Well I do some more research and learn that maybe the last place he was is Connecticut. While searching on the internet I find a Morgan farm around the place where the trail of Ambassador stops. In October I email the Morgan farm. The owner Emails me back saying she thinks she remembers the horse and she'll ask around. My heart starts jumping. Maybe just maybe!

The lady writes me back saying that maybe Charlotte might know him, or know where he is. Oh great I think another dead end. But there is hope. For whatever reason I just can't bring myself to call. What if he is gone again? What if something happened and he's no longer alive? Finally my mom talks me into calling. (Thank you MOM) I call this lady and she says she had him for 6 or 7 years. "He needs an experienced rider" she says. Yes! I know that finally I have found him. But wait he's in Vermont, no, he was in Vermont. He is now in Warren. Warren?? Oh my that is just 20 minutes away from where I work. This just sounds to good to be true. Charlotte gives me Elyse's name and number. This is now the end of December. I call and she says I can come see him.

It is very hard to get through work. I call my husband and he helps me figure out where I need to go. I am very nervous driving up to see him. As soon as I see his markings I know it is him. Of course it just figures it is one of the coldest days ever. With no gloves on I stand and rub him. Apologizing for selling him all those years ago. I start crying.